As I explained around this time last year, the pink peppercorn has played a contentious role in TD’s and my relationship.  In fact, the pink peppercorn has taken on its own meaning in our little parlay.  One might, if one wanted, consider the phrase, “does it have pink peppercorns?” part of our marital code.  At its most simple it is what TD says when he means, “what kind of crap did you put in this that I potentially will not like?” Its uses have extended beyond food though.  For example, when faced with a request to see what he thinks could be a romantic comedy, TD will say, “no, that movie looks too pink peppercorny.”  Alas, in our matrimonial sphere, the pink peppercorn has become synonymous with dislike.

Poor thing.

So, I thought I’d prove TD wrong–or maybe right–and actually make something with pink peppercorns in it. French macarons to be specific.  That’s right, we’re back there again.  

But before we get to the peppercorns, we’ll start with some freezed dried raspberries.  Trader Joes has a variety of freeze-dried fruit that would work well in a French macaron recipe.  Part of the concern with flavoring macaron shells is that flavor in liquid form has the potential to, well, make the cookie grumpy.  To use a technical term.

I wish I had thought of using ground dehydrated fruit first, but I didn’t and in this recipe, I take my inspiration from Aran Goyoaga,  hostess of the intimidatingly beautiful blog, Cannelle et Vanille.  I did think of making the powder on my own (though I’m sure I’m not the first).  To make the raspberry powder, the already brittle berries easily pulverize in a spice or coffee grinder.

The raspberry powder then gets added to the almond flour and confectioners sugar.  My preference is to grind the three elements together in a food processor and then sift them through a mesh strainer.

Because there really isn’t enough raspberry powder to turn the shells pink, I added a couple of drops of gel coloring to the meringue mixture.

I know folding the dry ingredients into the meringue can be tricky.  Here is a trick that has turned-out to be very reliable.  After you have folded the batter enough that everything is incorporated, give it a few more turns (and by this I mean 5-10).  Then, scoop out a little onto a plate and watch it move.  If it keeps its shape like in the photo below,  the batter needs another few folds, again, start with 5-10.

If the batter spreads very  slowly (the comparison is usually like lava)  and just barely evens out, like in this picture, you are ready to pipe.  Of course,  if your batter runs all over the place, you’ve over-mixed and, well, you’re pretty much screwed.

For this version of my little frenemy, I tried wedging a wooden spoon in the oven door so that the steam could escape.  I alos back a pan or two with the over door completely closed.  In both methods, I did not have any cracking.  

You thought I’d forgotten about the pink peppercorns, didn’t you.  Here is where they come in.  For the filling, I pulled together a buttercream.  Egg whites, sugar and some pink food gel were warmed over a double boiler until warm-to-the-touch.

Then, whipped to Ten Buck Two with the addition of butter.  Lots of butter.

And finally, the piece de resistance, two teaspoons of ground (same method as the raspberries) pink peppercorns.

A little dab on half the shells.

A little dusting of raspberry powder.

And  I give you, the raspberry pink peppercorn macaron. The peppercorn, while subtly spicy adds a wonderful floral aroma to the fruity raspberry.   Who could resist this pretty little cookie as a Valentine’s offering of love?

TD, that’s who.

Hated them (but I think it’s just on principle).

Luckily, others thought they were strangely delicious.

Soundtrack

Thievery Incorporated

When I make French macarons, I like to set up stations in my kitchen.  The island: weights and measures.  To the left of the sink: food processor for grinding.  To the right of the sink: standing mixer for whipping the egg whites.  Actual sink: tableau for stacked baking sheets and piping.  Dining room table: piped shells, aging.  Kitchen table: completed shells.  Sort of like…a…lab.  Thievery Incorporated just happened to be on my iPhone when I plugged it into the speaker dock.  The result? Total CSI montage music, French macaron style.  It was seriously awesome.

Raspberry Macarons with Pink Peppercorn Buttercream

Adapted slightly from Cannelle et Vanille

• 130 grams egg whites
• 3 grams egg white powder
• 80 grams sugar
• 180 grams almond flour
• 240 grams powdered sugar
• 2 grams salt
• 15 grams freeze-dried raspberry powder (this is the adapted part, I wanted a stronger raspberry presence than the original 7g)
• 2 drops red food coloring

Directions

1. Make sure that the egg whites have been separated from the egg yolks at least the night before. If the weather is cool and you are brave, leave them out, covered in plactic wrap, overnight.
2. In the bowl of a food processor, combine almond flour, confectioner’s sugar, salt and raspberry powder.  Process for 30-60 seconds until thoroughly combined.  Sift into a large bowl.  Discard bits that don’t go through sieve.
3. Whip the egg whites with the egg white powder until very fluffy, almost fully whipped. Start adding the sugar slowly while whipping. Add the red food coloring and continue whipping to stiff peaks.
4. Add the dry ingredients to the meringue and fold with a spatula until a shiny mass forms. We want to achieve a batter that makes ribbons. You might have to test it to see if it’s done. Pipe a small amount on your sheetpan. If it keeps a little bit of a top when piped, then you have to mix it a bit further, if it spreads really fast, you have gone too far and your macarons will turn out flat.
5. When you have the right consistency, place the mass in a pastry bag with a number 5 tip (to be honest, I just snip the tip of the bag to about a 1/8-1/4 inch and pipe without the tip) and pipe small rounds onto sheetpans lined with parchment or silpat. Let them dry at room temperature for at least 45 minutes to an hour. The tops must be dry when you touch them.
6. Have the oven preheated to 350F degrees. Place one sheetpan in the oven at a time and reduce the temperature to 300F degrees. Bake for 8 minutes and rotate sheetpan and bake for another 5 minutes.
7. Let the macarons cool on the sheet pan.

Pink Peppercorn Buttercream

Ingredients

• 100 grams egg whites
• 200 grams sugar
• 300 grams unsalted butter, room temperature
• 2 tsp (or to taste) finely ground pink peppercorns

Directions

• In the bowl of an electric mixer, whisk together egg whites and the sugar lightly. Place over a water bath until sugar is dissolved and the mixture is warm to the touch.
• Bring bowl to the electric mixer and whip until stiff peaks form.
• Continue whipping until the bowl feels cool. Add butter, a tablespoon at a time while whipping. It might look like it is separating but continue whipping and it will come together.
• Add the ground pink peppercorns and taste.
• Pair up shells of like-sizes and then line all up.  Pipe or spread buttercream on to on-half of each pair.  Carefully top with second shell.
• Can be stored in a sealed container in the fridge for 3-5 days.

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Will bake for handbags, shoes, small leather goods and jewelry.

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But, every once in a while, I like to get a little crazy.  And this is one of those times.  Plus, the recipe includes the element of fire…which really…who can resist?

We’ll start with a loafed version of butter cake.

The batter is thick and rich going into the oven.

Golden brown and dense coming out.

And usually, this is where I stop.  On its own, this loaf cake is pretty wonderful.  It has a nice dense crumb and would be delightful paired with a cup of coffee and some fresh berries.  I like to make loaves like this and freeze them.  I have an as-yet-to-be-realized fantasy that someone will stop by unannounced and that I’ll serve them some nice cake and iced tea.  You know what the reality of this little fantasy is?  A freezer full of cake.

And vodka.

Every time I clean out the freezer (which is quarterly because, well, I’m  me), I am always delightfully surprised with at least two or three full or nearly so bottles of the stuff.   I think what happens is that  be planning a get together, I’ll look in the bar, see no vodka, think we are out of it, then buy more and stuff it in the freezer.  And then, I repeat the whole thing the next time people are coming over.

Perhaps there is a cake and vodka party in our near future.  But, I digress.

So, if you aren’t serving your butter cake with a shot of vodka, you could cut it lengthwise like so.

And fill it with lemon curd, like this.

And whip up some eggs whites and sugar into a stiff meringue as such.

Then, cover the layer cake with a nice thick white blanket of fluffiness.

Hey look–it’s an albino porcipine.

A little toasty toasty under the broiler.  Or better yet, get out the butane torch.

And you’ve got yourself a completely over-the-top lemon meringue cake.

Sometimes more actually is more.

Soundtrack

Jimmy Buffet.  I thought this might be a parrothead worthy recipe.

Lemon Meringue Cake

Sunset Magazine, May 2009

Ingredients

Cake

• 2 1/4 cups cake flour
• 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/4 cups sugar
• About 1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2/3 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons finely shredded lemon zest

Lemon curd

• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (about 3 lemons)
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 8 large egg yolks

Meringue

• 1 cup egg whites (about 8 eggs)
• 1 cup sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl; set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat sugar and 1/2 cup butter until creamy. Crack eggs into a small dish (do not beat) and add vanilla. Add eggs to the butter mixture 1 at a time, scraping down the inside of the bowl as needed. Beat in flour mixture and milk in alternating batches, starting and ending with the flour and making sure each addition is fully incorporated before adding the next. Stir zest into batter.
2. Butter and flour a 5- by 9-in. loaf pan and pour in batter.
3. Bake 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes, then invert cake onto a rack. Remove pan and let cake cool to room temperature, at least 40 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, make lemon curd: In a heavy-bottomed medium saucepan, melt butter with lemon juice over high heat. In a medium bowl, whisk together sugar and yolks. Slowly whisk hot lemon butter into egg mixture, 1/2 cup at a time. Pour mixture back into saucepan and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture is very thick, 5 to 8 minutes.
5. Transfer lemon curd to a glass or plastic container. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing it onto the top of the curd to prevent a skin from forming. Chill until cold, at least 1 hour and up to 2 days.
6. Make meringue: Whisk whites and sugar together in a medium metal bowl. Set over a saucepan of simmering water and whisk constantly until mixture is warm to the touch and sugar feels dissolved, about 2 minutes.
7. Scrape whites into the bowl of a stand mixer. Whisk on high speed until light and fluffy and the side of the bowl feels cool to the touch, about 2 minutes.
8. Assemble cake: Preheat broiler, positioning oven rack about 7 in. from the heat source. Using a serrated knife, trim brown exterior from sides and top of cake. Slice cake horizontally into 3 even layers.
9. Place 1 cake layer on a rimmed baking sheet. Spread with half the lemon curd mixture. Repeat with second layer and remaining curd. Top with last layer. Using a spatula, cover the entire cake with the meringue.
10. Broil cake just until top is golden brown, being careful not to burn it, about 1 minute. Using 2 large pancake turners (sliding 1 under each side of cake), transfer cake to a serving plate.

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A little butter, salt, eggs whites, flour and vanilla are all combined and then the batter gets chilled for half an hour or so.

And then piped-out onto a baking sheet.

Sprinkle with pearl sugar, or don’t, either way, these cookies are a perfect little favor for spending some time with the Kitchen Gods.

And of, course, no actual cat’s tongues are required.

Langues de Chat

adapted slightly from Bouchon Bakery as appeared at www.seriouseats.com: Langues de Chat

Ingredients

• 4 TBS unsalted butter
• pinch of kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 large egg whites
• 1/2 C all-purpose flour
• Belgian pearl sugar for sprinkling

Directions

1. Cream butter, sugar and salt.  Add vanilla and one egg white.  Mix to combined.  Add second egg white and mix until just incorporated.  Fold in half the flour, then fold in remaining flour until smooth.  Refrigerate the batter for 30 minutes.
2. Put racks in upper and lower thirds of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees. Line two baking sheet with parchment.
3. Place the chilled batter into a pastry bag fitted with a 1/4 plain or fluted tip.  Pipe the batter into this strips, about 2 1/2 to 3 inches long on the baking sheets, leaving room in between as they will puff while baking.
4. Sprinkle with pearl sugar if desired.
5. Bake for about  3 minutes, then rotate baking sheets and bake for another 3-5 minutes or until the cookies are golden brown.  Remove from oven, allow to cool on racks.

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So, not only did I mis-attribute a quote, but I misquoated the quote (well, the English language mis-interpreted the quote, I’m simply guilty by association).  To make amends for my own historical transgressions, I sentenced myself to an attempt at baking brioche.

In The Bread Bakers Apprentice, author and bread baker extraordinaire provides three brioche recipes of increasing “richness.”  Playing the role of a typical American, I chose the middle-class recipe.  Less butter but also (supposedly) easier to work with.

As a yeast levaned bread, brioche begins with a sponge: a little flour, some yeast and a little warm milk.

Which, if you make the middle-class version as I did, gets a slightly extended fermentation time of 30-45 minutes.

While your yeast is getting its feast on (see what I did there?),  the remaining ingredients get assembled: eggs, more bread flour, a little sugar, a little salt and, oh yeah, that which makes brioche, brioche–butter.

After  sponge has risen and falls (see the second picture), eggs are added.  If you are a rock star this can be done by hand.  Apparently I’m more of an easy listening girl and used the paddle attachment and a standing mixer.

In go the dry ingredients.

And finally, the butter, two tablespoons at a time.

Reinhart describes the dough at this stage as smooth and soft.  Well, mine was that, but it was also alarmingly sticky.  Into a greased dish, covered tightly and then rested in the fridge overnight.

When ready to make the bread, remove the dough from the fridge.  The first time I attempted to make brioche, I stopped here. After 12 hours of cooling and arrested fermentation time, the dough lost none of its stickiness.  And, when I attempt to roll-it, much of the dough stuck to my hands.  Thinking I failed, I tossed the whole thing out.  And started again.

The second time around, the dough came out the same.  So, I liberally dusted my hands with flour and then took a stab.  Ahha!  Success.  I decided to make briohes a tete (why yes, this does translate to how it looks).  Reinhart suggests that the mold be filled no more than half, so I made one to appropriate size, weighed it and then weighed-out the dough accordingly.  This recipe will make 12-16 1 1/2-2 ounces brioche a tetes.  My molds were smaller so the batch made about 2 dozen.  The idea is to work with cold dough.  So, either quickly form your balls or put the dough in the fridge and work in batches.

The tops get a misting of oil and then are covered loosely in plastic wrap where they proof for an additional 1 1/2 to 2 hours or until the almost fill the mold.

Next comes a gentle egg wash and another 15-20 minutes of proofing.

Then, they finally go into a hot (400 degree) oven for 15-20 minutes until dark golden brown.  The rolls should sound hollow when thumped on the bottom.

They’re pretty in the mold but will stand up just as well naked.

While a true pastry chef would probably laugh at  the texture (the pockets should be larger), I don’t think it’s too shabby for a first try.  Let them eat cake, I’ll take this brioche.

Soundtrack

Wilco with Billy Bragg. California Stars reminds me of camping in the middle of the summer…a nice little bit of nostalgia for the middle of winter.

Middle-Class Brioches a Tete

The Bread Baker’s Apprentice, Peter Reinhart.  Ten Speed Press, Berkeley California.

Ingredients

Sponge

• 1/2 C (2.25 ounces) unbleached bread flour
• 2 tsp (.22 ounce) instant yeast
• 1/2 C (2.25 ounces) wold milk lukewarm (90-100 degrees F)

Dough

• 5 large (8.25 ounces) eggs, slightly beaten
• 3 C (13.75 ounces) unbleached bread flour
• 2 TBS (1 ounce) granulated sugar
• 1 1/4 tsp (.31 ounces) salt
• 1 C (8 ounces) unsalted butter at room temp.
• 1 egg, whisked until frothy, for wash

1. To make the sponge, stir together the flour and yeast in a large mixing bowl (or in the bowl of a standing mixer).  Stir-in the milk until all flour is hydrated.  Cover bowl with plastic wrap and ferment for 30-45 minutes or until the sponge rises and then falls when you tap the bowl.
2. To make the dough, add the eggs to the sponge and whisk or mix using a paddle attachment until smooth.  In a separate bowl, stir together the flour, sugar and salt.  Add this mixture to the sponge and eggs and stir on low speed for about two minutes, until all the ingredients are hydrated and evenly distributed.  Let the mixture rest for 5 minutes (to get the gluten going).  On medium speed, gradually work-in the butter, about 2 tablespoons at-a-time, waiting until each addition assimilates before adding more.  Once all butter has been mixed-in, continue mixing for another 6 minutes or until the dough is very well mixed.  You will need to scrape-down the bowl from time to time because the dough will cling to the sides.  The dough will be very soft and smooth (and sticky).
3. Line a sheet pan or casserole dish with baking parchment and mist lightly with spray oil.  Transfer the dough to the sheet pan, spreading it to form a large, thick rectangle measuring about 6 inches by 8 inches.  Mist the top of the dough with spray oil and cover the pan with plastic wrap.  Immediately put the pan/dish into the refrigerator and chill overnight.
4. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and shape it while it is very cold.  If it warms up or softens, return it to the fridge.  Divide the dough into 12-16 inch pieces for petite brioches a tete (if making 1 1/2 to 2 ounce rolls).  Shape each portion into two small balls of about a 1:3 ratio.  Place larger ball into a greased mold, make a slight indent on the top-center with your finger and place the smaller ball in the divit.
5. Place the molds on a sheet pan, mist with oil spray and loosely cover with plastic wrap.  Proof the dough until it nearly fills the molds (1 1/2 to 2 hours).  Gently brush the tops with egg wash.  Cover loosely with plastic wrap and proof a final 15-20 minutes or until the dough fills the molds.
6. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and place the rack in the middle slot in the oven.
7. Bake for about 15-20 minutes.  The internal temperature should read 180 degrees (I didn’t do this I just went by sight).  The bread should sound hollow when thumped on the bottom and be golden brow.
8. Remove brioches from the pans as soon as they come out of the oven and cool on a rack for at least 20 minutes before serving.

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Which is why I thought it appropriate to start the year out with a triple grapefruit treat.

We’ll start with some candied grapefruit peel.  Unlike the heartier orange peels I made for the holidays, these are fine and curly.  For this, I braved my complicated and rather abusive relationship with the citrus zester.  Every time I use this baby, it asks for a piece of flesh as payment.  And this time was no different.

Finer strands of peel means significantly less boil time.

It also means that they emerge from their final syrup bath a bit like tangled spagetti.

These would be difficult to dip in chocolate, but the results are sculptural and perfect for the purposes at hand

Next up: ruby red grapefruit curd.

I’ve made citrus curd utilizing both a stainless saucepan as well as the non-stick variety.  For curd, where continuous whisking is a necessity, I have to admit that I prefer a non-stick pan.  It seems to temper the heat a little better and reduce the opportunity for burned curd.

And now on to the cake portion of this goodie.  Angel food cake is always fun to make and while I generally associate this confection with April and strawberries, I thought the texture would be perfect for what I had in mind.

Glossy and stiff egg whites are gently combined during the final steps along with a little grapefruit zest for good measure.

Airy and light you wouldn’t think something that went into the oven looking like this.

Would come out looking like this.

And now it’s time for the grapefruit hokey pokey.  Each little cake gets a divot.

That is filled with curd.

Then topped by a simple grapefruit icing and accessorized with candied grapefruit peel.

This is going to sound odd, but by the time I have planned-for, made and cleaned-up after whatever it is I’ve created, I’m generally not all that interested in eating it.  This is generally where TD comes in.  But.  I did taste these.

For photographic purposes of course.  And was really surprised at how lovely they are.  When baked, grapefruit mellows-out and can become very subtle.  So, the triple (well, quadruple) effect isn’t overpowering.  My tastebuds also enjoyed the contrast of textures and flavor tones (good lord…did I just say that?)–creamy, springy, crunchy, sweet and puckery.

Soundtrack

P!nk.  Of course!

Triple-Quadruple Grapefruit Cupcakes

Recipe credits: Grapefruit Curd, adapted from Sunset Magazine, May 2009; Angel Food Cupcakes adapted from Cooking Light, September 2006

Makes 18 assembled cupcakes

Ingredients

• Candied citrus peel (reduce final syrup stage to 10-20 minutes and adjust ingredients as needed for amount of zest making)

For Curd

• 1/2 C freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
• 1/2 C butter
• 3/4 C sugar
• 8 large egg yolks

For Cupcakes

• 1/2 C cake flour, sifted
• 3/4 C powdered sugar
• 5 large egg whites
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 3/4 tsp cream of tartar
• 1/2 C granulated sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tsp grated grapefruit zest

For Icing

• 2 C powdered sugar
• 2 TBS-1/4 C grapefruit juice depending on desired consistency

Directions

For Curd

1. In a heavy-bottomed medium saucepan, melt butter with grapefruit juice over high heat.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together sugar and yolks. Slowly whisk hot grapefruit butter into egg mixture, 1/2 cup at a time. Pour mixture back into saucepan and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture is very thick, 5 to 8 minutes.
3. Transfer curd to a glass or plastic container. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing it onto the top of the curd to prevent a skin from forming. Chill until cold, at least 1 hour and up to 2 days.

For Cupcakes

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Place 16 paper muffin cup liners in muffin cups. Set aside.
3. Lightly spoon cake flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Sift together flour and 3/4 cup powdered sugar into a medium bowl; repeat the procedure 2 times.
4. Beat egg whites and salt with a mixer at high speed until frothy (about 1 minute). Add cream of tartar, and beat until soft peaks form. Add 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, beating until stiff peaks form. Sprinkle flour mixture over egg white mixture, 1/4 cup at a time; fold in after each addition. Stir in vanilla and rind.
5. Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups. Bake at 350° for 18 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from pan; let cool completely on a wire rack.

Icing

1. Add sugar to a medium bowls and slowly whisk in juice until you reach desired consistency

To Assemble

1. Using a serrated knife, carve out about 1/2 tsp divits in top of cupcakes.
2. Fill a pastry bag or ziplock with curd and fill divits with curd.
3. Ice each cupcake (be careful of the curd).
4. Top with candied grapefruit peel or other crowning elements.

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TD was in charge of the holiday cards this year.  And, he did an awesome job that left little doubt about who designed it. TD may have abandoned his former heterosexual life partner, Albert Pujols; but, the dude still loves him some Cardinals. And yes, I’m pretty sure he actually purchased the image.  Right TD?  Right?

Opting for the popular flat card version, TD even ventured into the holiday letter genre.  Hell really has frozen over.

I motion that TD is in charge of holiday cards going forward.  All in favor?

When all members of your immediate family live out-of-state, the holidays are generally all-or-nothing.  And, because we were lucky enough to spend time with both families in the last six months, this was a “nothing” year.  Which means we were left to our own devices.  Said devices resulted in the following.

Device #1:  Super tacky ghetto tree

Sometimes, good intentions go horribly,  wrong.  See, doing a Christmas tree in our house always presents a challenge.  We have one of those typical South Bay/Beach Cities “tall and skinny” townhouses.  So, while the tree would look best in the dining/sitting room on the first floor, we spend the vast majority of our “down-time” in the third floor loft (where there isn’t room for a tree).  The last couple of years I  bought and subsequently killed (not on purpose) rosemary bushes meant to serve as tree proxies.  Since I’m definitely anti-herb violence,  this year, I bought what I thought would be a really cool spirally-copper-tree deal.

For years I’ve been collecting hand-glown glass ball ornaments from an artist who sells (his? her?) work at a little gallery in Bozeman Montana called Altitude.  Some were given as gifts and others TD and I collected on our trips to Montana.  When it became clear that I’d probably never have enough balls to decorate a whole tree, I took a class in glass blowing and made some of my own (mine aren’t even in the same league…in fact, they aren’t even playing the same sport as the professionally made ones…mine aren’t even really round).  In addition to giving TD hours of comedic material about his wife, balls, and blowing,  the results also help fill-out the collection.  Anyhow, on their own, the glass balls displayed on the copper spiral looked really nice.  But then, I added lights.  And of course, Penelope, the peacock tree topper had to be added along with a scarf I picked up in Lijiang China as the tree skirt.  The result: Liberace called and wants his Christmas tree back.  TD and I even made up a song for it.

Device #2: A shot for Santa

We’re just those kind of people.  And, well, we may or may not have been drinking martinis on Christmas Eve.  Obviously Santa needed it because all we found Christmas morning is what you see in the photo.

Device #3: Ceremonial Holiday PJs

Yes, I mean ceremonial.  Not traditional.  To be worn only on Christmas morning as part of the hallowed act of opening gifts.

Device #4: Christmas Donuts

Ceremonial PJs and a tacky tree create optimal conditions for a Christmas donut or two.

Device #5: Sherlock Holmes

Not pictured here, but, despite what the critics are saying, TD and I agree that the second one was a particularly enjoyable mid-Christmas afternoon break.  Of course, Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. could be in a remake of Gigli and I’d enjoy it.  What?

Device #6:  A Christmas Story inspired dinner

Here is the short of it.  We had dinner reservations at a fairly decent seafood/chop house.  We waited very patiently for 20 minutes after being seated with nary a drink order, while wait staff, bussers and probably a manager or two walked by the table several times.  Neither one of us were really in the mood to deal with it, so we walked.

Turning up on our street we noticed that a certain Mexican restaurant of dubious distinction happened to be open.  Now, we’ve lived in our neighborhood for five years, have eaten there twice. Our conclusion was that it’s got to be a front for some sort of illegal activity because it’s always packed but the food is crap.  However, very recently not one (hi JP!) but two people explained that you don’t really go there to eat.  You go there for the margaritas…sort of like El Coyote on Beverly.  We interpreted the confluence of this new information with the fact that it was actually abierto on Christmas night and enjoyed a fantastic (well, at least it was fantastic after a couple of drinks) meal with an awesome waiter.

While this isn’t what Christmas looks like for us every year, all in all, not too shabby.

Oh…and what did I get you for the holidays you ask? I updated the  INDEX!

And, a hint for next week.  Happy New Year!!!

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Not really one of those cakes you can throw together on a whim, what this recipe calls for in patience makes up for in specialness.  Chocolate-studded devil’s food cake surrounded in layers of pillowy, sticky marshmallow fluff.

Sold yet?

How about now?

I have to admit, that’s all you are going to get in the photo department.  I made this cake the week of Thanksgiving for company and because of all the other plates I happened to be spinning at the time, made the cake late one night and then the frosting the next night.  And we all know about my kitchen in lighting.

But, you’ll have to trust me when I tell you how much fun the frosting is to make and what a delight it was to work with in decorating.  One piece of advice: read through the entire recipe a couple of times before diving in.  It took me a couple of passes to actually conceptualize where Ms. Greenspan was going with the recipe.

Devil’s Food White-Out Cake

adapted ever so slightly from Baking from my kitchen to yours, Dorie Greenspan

Cake Ingredients

• 1  1/2 C all purpose flour
• 1/2 C unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 (10 TBS) unsalted, room temp butter
• 1/2 C packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 C sugar
• 3 large eggs, room temp
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled
• 1/2 C buttermilk at room temp
• 1/2 C boiling water
• 4 ounces semisweet or milk chocolate, chopped or 2/3 C mini chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour 2, 8X2 inch round cake pans (use regular flour or cocoa).  Line each with parchment, place pans on baking sheet.
2. Sift together flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
3. Using a stand mixer with paddle or a hand mixer, beat butter until soft and creamy.  Add sugars and beat an additional 3 minutes.
4. Add-in eggs one-at-a-time, beating 1 minute in between.  Beat-in vanilla.
5. Reduce speed and add-in cooled chocolate.
6. Alternating with the buttermilk, add-in dry ingredients in 3-parts, starting and ending with the dry ingredients.
7. Working on low-speed, mix-in the water.  Scrape-down the bowl and fold in the chocolate.  Divide the batter evenly into pans and smooth the tops with a rubber spatula.
8. Bake 25-30 minutes rotating pans halfway through until an inserted toothpick comes up clean.
9. Cool on racks for 5 minutes.  Run a knife around the perimeter of pans and unmold.  Cakes can be stored if wrapped-airtight in the freezer up to 2 months.

Frosting/Filling

• 1/2 C eggs whites (about 4 large)
• 1 C sugar
• 3/4 tsp cream of tartar
• 1 C water
• 1 TBS vanilla extract

Directions

1. Put the sugar, cream of tartar and water in a small saucepan fitted with a candy thermometer. Stir to combine.
2. Bring mixture to boil over medium high heat, cover the pan and boil for 3 minutes.  Uncover and allow the syrup to boil until it reaches 242 degrees F on the candy thermometer.
3. While the syrup is cooking, place egg whites in a clean, dry bowl.  Begin beating when the syrup reaches 235 degrees on the thermometer using the whisk attachment.  If the egg whites form peaks before the syrup gets to 242 degrees, reduce speed to low.
4. With the mixer at medium speed, stand back and carefully pour in the hot syrup.  It is likely to spatter, don’t try to scrape them into the whites.
5. Add-in vanilla and continue beating until mixture reaches room temp, about 5-7 minutes.  The result is a smooth, shiny frosting.
6. To assemble, place first layer on plate or stand.  Slip parchment under the edges to keep the plate clean.
7. Using an off-set spatula, cover the bottom layer of cake with a thick layer of frosting–about equal to the height of the cake.  Add the second layer and then working with a generous amount of frosting, frost the entire cake.  Decorate as desired.
8. Refrigerate for at least an hour before serving.

Because of how soft this frosting is, left-over cake (as if) should be stored in the fridge.

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I started by toasting about a cup of almonds.  I used blanched because that’s what I had but I don’t see any problem with using skins.

Then, I couldn’t find my camera.  So a bunch of stuff happened that didn’t get captured digitally.  Here is the short of it though: I melted together butter and white chocolate.  Incorporated the usual suspects: eggs, sugar, flour and a healthy does of vanilla (no silly, not in that order).  Finally, I folded-in the toasted almonds and orange peel.  Into the oven.  And.

This is what came out.  The orange peel sort of melts into blondie and the result is a sweet/zesty/nutty treat.  Sort of like me.

Once cut, I packaged them up and took them to a cookie decorating party.

Soundtrack

Glee Christmas on Pandora, because I’m perfectly confident with my manhood.

Candied Orange Peel and Toasted Almond Blondies

Ingredients

• 2 C sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1 C (16 TBS) unsalted butter
• 6 ounces white chocolate, chopped
• 4 eggs
• 1 TBS vanilla
• 2 C flour
• 1 C chopped candied orange peel
• 1 C roasted and chopped almonds

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line a 9X13 inch pan with parchment and butter or spray the pan and parchment.
2. In a heavy saucepan, melt butter and white chocolate over low heat, whisking until combined.  Take off heat and set aside.  Butter and chocolate will want to separate.  That’s okay, just give it a good whisk before adding to the batter.
3. In a large bowl, whisk together sugar and salt.  Add-in eggs one-at-a-time.  Then whisk in vanilla.
4. Fold-in butter and chocolate.
5. Fold-in flour until just combined.
6. Fold-in orange peel and almonds.
7. Bake for about 40 minutes or until an inserted toothpick come-out clean but with a few crumbs stuck to it.
8. Let cool completely, cut and enjoy.

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I know that Thanksgiving was so last month.  But, I also know many people step and repeat for Christmas so I thought I’d share links and whatnot to the recipes we used this year.

Let’s start with the turkey.  Ours came straight outta Compton.  No really, it did.  TD is generally in charge of the bird.  And, as you’ve seen in this blog, he does it a little differently every year.  Highlights have included the baducky and last year’s slow cooked turkey breast.  For years the guy has been talking about frying a turkey.  Luckily for our neighbors and home owner’s insurance premiums, the voice of reason has always won out.  Until we realized that someone else could make our fried Thanksgiving turkey.

Minimal research revealed that the place to buy fried turkey in Los Angeles is a little shop called Loreto’s Fried Turkey Restaurant (just in case you were confused about what they sell).  The fact that it is located in Compton was just the icing on the cake.  See, it meant that TD and his partner in crime for the day didn’t really have to give up the requisite element of danger that comes with procuring a friend turkey.

And let me tell you, that turkey was fantastic.

Surprisingly so.  Juicy, flavorful and made in someone else’s kitchen.  All the things that a Thanksgiving turkey generally is not.

While there is absolutely no denying that the Compton turkey was the star of the show, I think the sides made excellent supporting stars.

This year I made my favorite sourdough and artichoke stuffing from Sunset Magazine.  My version swaps-out white mushrooms for cremini and I like to add a little sweet Italian turkey sausage to the mix.

Simple buttermilk mashed potatoes.

Honeyed carrots for color.

Grilled brussels sprouts. Just par-boil your sprouts, then marinate in a vinegar based sauce (I like to use balsamic).  When ready, grill in a grill pan.  Easy as that.

A giant Russian Grandmother’s Apple Pie

And of course no Thanksgiving in the Misanthropic Household would be complete with out a Chocolate Sees Turkey or two.

Let the holidays begin!

Soundtrack

N.W.A. of course.

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